Family Support is Absolutely Essential
Over the past year we have developed a new service at One in Four. Most of the people who come to us have been sexually abused within their families – by a father, brother, uncle, grandfather and sometimes by a female relative. If the offender is still alive, the survivor is often very concerned about the safety of other children in the family. The man who abused his own children might now have access to grandchildren, the abusive uncle might be targeting a whole new generation of children. This means that the survivor has to disclose their abuse to family members and this can cause a huge disturbance in the family.
Some family members immediately believe and support the survivor but others cannot accept what has happened and reject the survivor. Some of course may have been abused themselves. The family really needs support at this time.
In this type of situation we offer to meet with all the members of the family who wish to come. This sometimes will include the offender but most often not. We have a series of meetings to explore the impact of the disclosure of abuse on each family member and to allow the survivor to describe the effect the abuse has had on him or her. It also allows the family the chance to begin to understand how sexual abuse happens in families, what are the factors in their particular family that enabled the abuser. Most importantly, it helps the family to understand what must happen if other children are to be kept safe.
Last year we helped over 53 families and the demand is growing. The feedback has been very positive from survivors and from families. By giving people the space to talk to each other and by empowering them with information, real change can happen and the next generation is protected
from sexual harm.
Maeve Lewis
Comments (2)
And sometimes you just get ganged up upon, violently beaten and threatened all over again , and your childhood nightmare becomes your adult nightmare reverting you to a helpless child all over again….how do you get to this point without help and avoidance of violence. Its too difficult and dangerous.
claire at 16:28 on 29 March 2012
I too, survived abuse that I had repressed until the age of 38, I have done extensive daily therapy for over 10 years and also, help others with their stories and the healing that is needed to move forward and re-claim the parts of our souls that have retreated… There is value in our painful past and we can use this pain to heal…
xo
Melissa
melissa lee at 17:12 on 01 April 2012